Karaoke Night
by ChicksDigTheFuzzyDude
Summary: The X-Men go to a karaoke bar. A songfic collection. I suck at summaries, but read, 'k?
1. Chapter 1

Karaoke bar time for the X-Men! Disclaimer? Nah, you people know that crud already.

* * *

"C'mon. I'm already going with the boys and Wanda, and Rouge already agreed to come along. Even Tabby will be there. You have to go with us, Kitty!" said Laura. Kitty looked at her doubtfully. "Oh, like, come on, Laura. A karaoke bar? Like, seriously?" asked the ghost girl, tightening the front of her costume. She adjusted her angel wings and halo and applied another layer of candy-pink lipgloss. Laura pulled her up and hauled her off, ignoring her protests, but, as they stepped out the door, they were accosted by a WWI soldier and a Red Cross nurse. They were followed by the rest of the X-Men, excluding the adults. "Where are you headed?" asked the soldier, poking them with his plastic gun. "Nowhere, Scottie." said the tiny Wolverine clone, pushing the gun away and dragging Kitty onward. "Well, we've got nothing to do, so we'll follow you to nowhere." said Scott. Laura sighed.

When they finally pulled up to the dim karaoke bar, Scott nearly freaked. "You brought us to a karaoke bar?!?!" he yelled, grabbing the front of Lance's devil costume. "Relax, Shades!" said a vampire with half black, half white hair. The other, his duplicate, bared her teeth. "Leave him alone. C'mon, Rouge." Wanda pulled the white-striped witch into the bar, the others following, and pulled her and Laura onto the stage. Laura straightened her schoolgirl skirt and tossed her braid over her shoulder, taking the time to make it look jerky and undead. The others watched disapprovingly. Laura put her mouth to the microphone.

_I'm gonna cast a spell on you_

_You're gonna do what I want you to _

_Mix it up here in my little bowl_

_Say a few words and you lose control_

The Brotherhood was obviously enjoying themselves, but Fred was holding back Pietro, who was trying to look up Laura's skirt while holding back Todd, who was trying to look up Wanda's dress. The X-Men, however, were uneasy for the most part, especially the veterans and the former homeschoolers.

_I'm a Hex Girl_

_And I'm gonna put a spell on you_

_(I'm gonna put a spell on you)_

_I'm a Hex Girl_

_And I'm gonna put a spell on you_

_(Put a spell on you)_

Laura whipped a wand out of nowhere and waved it, pressing the button to activate the fog machine.

_You'll feel the fog as I cloud your mind_

_You get dizzy when I make the sign_

_You'll wake up in the dead of night_

_Missing me when I'm out of sight_

She drew a sign around Pietro and he feigned being woozy, placing a hand to his head. The fog closed around her on the next line, but was suddenly gone as the stage lit up from behind the singers.

_I'm a Hex Girl_

_And I'm gonna put a spell on you_

_(I'm gonna put a spell on you)_

_I'm a Hex Girl_

_And I'm gonna put a spell on you_

_(Put a spell on you)_

Rouge kicked forward a cauldron, and Laura took a staff made to hold the mic and began to stir while singing.

_With this little cobweb potion_

_You'll fall into dark devotion_

_If you ever lose affection_

_I can change your whole direction_

She kicked over the cauldron and a misty green light poured out along with more fog. It poured over the stage and onto the crowd, who screamed with delight. Warren ran a hand uncomfortably through his long silver wig. "Having a wing folded up like this hurts... We should go home after this."

_I'm a Hex Girl_

_And I'm gonna put a spell on you_

_(I'm gonna put a spell on you)_

_I'm a Hex Girl_

_And I'm gonna put a spell on you_

_(Put a spell on you)_

Pietro laughed as Laura flung a handful of black glitter at the mutant crowd. The other two stepped forward and struck a pose as they sang the last line.

_We're gonna put a spell on all of you_

The girls stepped offstage. They were whispering together, and they laughed as they headed off in their separate cars. When the X-Men got home the door was locked, and they stared at each other. Scott gulped and rang the doorbell. The adults were all standing there as Hank opened the door. They glared at the kids. "What do you have to say for yourselves?" asked Ororo.

"Trick or treat?" asked Scott sheepishly.


	2. Chapter 2

"Why are we going here again?" asked Scott. "I thought we had enough last week!" Lance shot him a look and a smirk. "Afraid your precious Professor might say it's not okay, Scottie?" Scott glared at him pointedly. "Just saying. You wouldn't want to disappoint Cueball." Lance said with a snort. Jean put an arm around her sulking boyfriend and led him into the familiar karaoke bar. She left him with a drink and a secretive smile and sauntered on to the stage, her skirt swishing. "There goes Little Miss Perfect again." drawled Rouge. Jean put her lips to the mic as a country beat came on.

_If you don't take me to Paris  
On a lover's getaway  
It's all right, it's all right  
If I'd rather wear your t-shirt  
Than a sexy negligee  
It's all right, it's all right  
Every dinner doesn't have to be candlelit  
It's kinda nice to know that it doesn't have to be  
_

Rouge glared at her. "She's stealin' mah thundah!" she said angrily. "Countrah music is mah thang!"

_  
Perfect  
Baby every little piece  
Of the puzzle doesn't always fit  
Perfectly  
Love can be rough around the edges tattered at the seams  
But honey if it's good enough for you  
It's good enough for me_

Scott looked up at her and quirked an eyebrow. "Think someone's singing to you, Shades?" asked Pietro, and Laura put a hand on her hip. "Leave him alone, Pietro." she said bossily.

_  
If your mother doesn't like  
The way I treat her baby boy  
It's all right, it's all right  
If in every wedding picture  
My daddy looks annoyed  
It's all right, it's all right  
Don't you know that all the fairy tales tell a lie  
Real love and real life doesn't have to be_

Scott laughed. "Woah. What's gotten into Jeannie? She's not normally like this!" Rouge looked over at him. "It sounds lahke three quarts ah' scotch an' ah pahnt ah' whiskeh. An' ah head cold."__

Perfect  
Baby every little piece  
Of the puzzle doesn't always fit  
Perfectly  
Love can be rough around the edges tattered at the seams  
But honey if it's good enough for you  
It's good enough for me

"She's lucky she has you, then." came a voice from behind them, and a few heads turned, although they already knew the voice. "Duncan." said Scott stiffly. "Hey, mutie. What are you doing here? We humans want the stage back." Suddenly there was a Maximoff on either side of him and he found himself in the alley. "Mutants only, you human freak!" called Wanda, slamming the door.__

You don't mind if I show up late for everything  
And when you lose your cool it's kinda cute to me  
Ain't it nice to know that we don't have to be

Scott was blushing now, the combined effect of the way Jean was staring at him and the drink he was sipping. "What the heck is in this?" he asked to no one in particular. Rouge looked off to one side and whistled innocently.__

Perfect  
Baby every little piece  
Of the puzzle doesn't always fit  
Perfectly  
Love can be rough around the edges tattered at the seams  
But honey if it's good enough for you  
It's good enough for me

He sighed and pinched at the bridge of his nose. "I'm not driving back, apparently. But... we'll have to go soon." He relaxed for a moment. "I guess I really let the professor down..." Lance punched the other teen on the shoulder. "Cool it, Slym. Nobody's perfect."__

It's good enough for me (perfect)  
Yeah good enough for me (perfect)  
Good enough for me (perfect)  


Jean hung up the mic and sauntered off the stage, helped Scott into the car, and pushed Rouge into the driver's seat. "Meet me in my room later, Slym." she whispered to him. "Sure thing, Red, but with me buzzed..." She took his hand and squeezed it tight. "You don't have to be perfect..." she sang to him softly. Scott led his head drop back. "I've changed my mind. That's our Saturday night spot now." he said.


	3. Chapter 3

New chapter up! I love Pietro and Lance, really I do, but this had to be done. Disclaimer? Nah.

"Lance, this week I've got a dare for you." This came from the brown-haired boy next to the rockstar. "What, Shades? You know I'm game for anything." said the earthshaker, grinning cockily at the X-Man. Scott leaned over and whispered something. "Oh HECK no!" said Lance, skittering backwards. Scott smirked. "Scared, Avalanche?" Lance put his head in his hands. "Ah, dang. Alright. C'mon, Pietro. We've got a song to sing." He pulled a rather confused speed demon behind him as he climbed on stage. He handed Pie the mic as the words showed up, and the silver-haired boy blushed as he began to sing, recognizing the song immediately.

_Let's face the facts about me and you, our love unspecified  
Though I'm proud to call you "chocolate bear"  
The crowd will always talk and stare._

All the assembled mutants were roaring with laughter as Lance took the mic from Pietro, his face exactly the same shade of crimson. __

I feel exactly those feelings too  
And that's why I keep them inside  
'cause this bear, can't bare the world's disdain  
And sometimes it's easier to hide.

The two leaned in close to the mic, their noses practically touching, not to mention their lips. They were chest-to-chest, and Scott lifted the video camera higher. "Oh, yeah. I've got blackmail for years!" __

Than explain our guy love, that's all it is  
Guy love he's mine I'm his  
There's nothing gay about it in our eyes.

The two held hands with their free hand, doing their best to fit the song and look like a happy couple. The awkwardness could have been cut with a knife. Lance tipped his head slightly.__

You ask me 'bout this thing we share...

Pietro tipped his the other way and smiled charmingly.__

...and he tenderly replies.

Lance batted his eyelashes and the assembled mutant crowd laughed uproariously, with the exception of a rather pouty Kitty.__

It's guy love...

They leaned their foreheads together.__

...between two guys.

They linked pinkies and turned to face the crowd.__

We're closer than the average man and wife.

Lance gestured at an average-looking couple. They laughed good-naturedly.__

That's why our matching bracelets say Turk and J.D.

Pietro lifted their linked arms to show off bracelets Wanda had woven for the Brotherhood.__

You know I'll stick by you for the rest of my life...

Lance drew closer to Pietro's side, causing Kitty to glower.__

You're the only man who's ever been inside of me!

Lance looked at him wildly and Pietro gave him a sheepish look.__

Whoa whoa! I just took out his appendix.

Lance turned back to the crowd, waving his hands frantically.__

There's no need, to clarify...

Sang Pietro, batting down Lance's hands. __

Oh no?

Lance asked, looking at Kitty nervously.__

Just let it grow more and more each day.  
It's like I've married my best friend...

Thanks to the instant-costume-change powers of a mutant backstage, Lance was staring out at the crwd in a poofy wedding dress and Pie was in a tux.__

But in a totally manly way!

They were blessedly back to normal, but not after a few flashes from cameras.__

Let's go!  
It's guy love, don't compromise,  
The feeling of some other guy.  
Holding up your heart into the sky.

They lifted their arms. __

I'll be there to care through all the lows.

Pietro backed Lance into a wall and put his hand down on the wall next to Lance's hip.__

I'll be there to share the highs.

Lance turned the tables on 'Tro and placed a hand by his ear.__

It's guy love, between two guys.

They smiled adoringly.__

And when I say, "I love you, Turk,",  
It's not what it implies.

Pietro grinned sheepishly as he looked at Laura, who was currently laughing her little cloned head off. __

It's guy love  
Between...  
Two...  
Guys.

Pietro reached for Lance's hand, but the brown-haired boy blocked it.__

No hands. 

They backed off stage amidst applause, laughter, and whistling. Lance glared at a rather satisfied Summers. His silvery friend shot a look to match any of his sister's at the New Recruits, some of whom were making kissy faces at the pair, who were once again turning red. "You will never speak of this AGAIN, Summers!" hissed a mortified Lance. "Don't need to." said Scott, still chuckling. "We're going home." growled Lance, dragging Pietro out by the wrist. "And Lance?" called Scott. The rockstar turned. "You look fabulous in the wedding dress, dahling." the shaded teen said.

That night, Scott came home with a mysteriously sprained arm and dust all over his shirt.


	4. Chapter 4

It was another Saturday night, and the karaoke bar was hosting a competition with songs from popular musicals. Evan and Pietro were the first to step on stage, and the lights showed them sitting at separate desks and writing. They began to sing.

_Evan_ _(spoken) Dearest, darlingest Auntie O_

This earned a snicker as people recognized the song. 

_Pietro_ _(spoken) My dear father_

Laura hid her mouth behind her hand to keep from laughing at the very idea of anyone calling Magneto 'dear'. 

_BOTH_ _There's been some confusion_ _Over rooming here at Xavier's_

They glanced back at each other fretfully.

_Pietro_ _But of Course I'll care for Wanda_

Wanda folded her arms and glared. "Care for me? Why would I need to be cared for? Stupid brother..."

_Evan_ _But Of course I'll rise above it_

"... I didn't know Evan could hit that note." she finished lamely. "I can't even hit that note."

_BOTH_ '_Cause I know that's how you'd want me to respond, yes_ _There's been some confusion for you see my roommate is_

They looked at each other and pondered how to describe the other. 

_Evan_ _Unusually and exceedingly peculiar_ _and altogether quite impossible to describe_

decided Evan, smiling uneasily and waving a hand in a general motion. Pietro looked back at him. 

_Pietro_ _(spoken) Blonde_

Evan stood and glared, and Pietro stood and turned. When their eyes locked, they both seemed surprised. 

_Evan_ _What is this feeling so sudden and new_

asked Evan, tilting his head and putting a hand to his chin. 

_Pietro_ _I felt the moment I laid eyes on you_

The speedster put a hand to his head, shocked.

_Evan_ _My pulse is rushing_

Evan checked his pulse. 

_Pietro_ _My head is reeling_

_Evan_ _My face is flushing_

And indeed, the African boy seemed at least a few shades lighter.

_BOTH_ _What is this feeling_ _Fervid as a flame_ _Does it have a name_ _Yeee-es_

They put up one finger in an 'ah-ha!' motion, drawing closer together and then suddenly stepping apart. 

_Loathing, unadulterated loathing_

They sneered at each other.

_Evan_ _For your speed_

_Pietro_ _Your spikes_

_Evan_ _Your clothing_

(At this, the silver-haired boy seemed genuinely offended. Evan smirked.) 

_BOTH_ _Let's just say, I loathe it all_ _Every little trait however small_ _Makes my very flesh begin to crawl_ _With simple utter loathing_ _There's such strange exhilaration_ _In such total detestation_ _It's so pure, so strong_ _Though I do admit it came on fast_ _Still I do believe that it can last_ _And I will be loathing_ _Loathing you_ _My whole life long! _

At this, the X-Men, minus a certain adorable clone, joined in. 

_X-Men_ _Dear Evan you are just too good_ _How do you stand it I don't think I could_ _He's a terror he's a tartar_ _We don't mean to show a bias_ _But Evan you're a martyr_

There were general snickers and Pietro pouted. 

_Evan _ _Well, these things are sent to try us _

Evan sang, placing his hands together prayer-style and trying to look angelic. 

_X-Geeks_ _Poor Evan forced to reside_ _With someone so disgustifified_ _We want to tell you_ _We're all on your side!!_

"I'm not!" called out Laura, earning laughs from the other patrons, who had learned to love the little clone. 

_We share your loathing (Both: What is this feeling so sudden and new)_ _Unadulterated loathing (Both: I felt the moment I laid eyes on you)_ _For his speed, his voice, his clothing (Both: My pulse is rushing)_ _Let's just say (Both: My head is reeling)_ _We loathe it all! (Both: Oh what is this feeling)_ _Every little trait however small (Both: Does it have a name)_ _Makes our very flesh begin to crawl (Both: Yes)_ _ALL_ _A-ah_ _BOTH_ _Loathing (X-Men: Loathing)_ _There's such strange exhilaration (X-Men: Loathing)_ _In such total detestation (X-Men: Loathing)_ _It's so pure so strong (X-Men: So strong)_ _Though I do admit it came on fast_ _Still I do believe that it can last_ _And I will be loathing for forever (X-Men: Loathing)_ _Loathing truly, deeply (X-Men: Loathing)_ _Loathing you (X-Men: Loathing, loathing you)_ _My whole life long (X-Men: Loathing, unadulterated loathing!)_

They finished up with locked arms glaring at each other, when Pietro suddenly stuck his face in Evan's. 

_Pietro_ _(spoken) Boo!_

Evan broke the lock and jumped back. 

_Evan_ _(spoken) Ah!_

They exited to loud applause. They rejoined the others at their table and were being patted on the back, or, in Pietro's case, congratulated rather personally by Laura's lips, when a slow round of clapping sounded behind them. They turned in horror to see the adults of both teams sitting there with their arms crossed.

* * *

Oh no! The grown-ups! What will they say about their kids hanging out in a karaoke bar? Will the X-Men get in trouble? Will Chicks ever stop blathering and post another chappie so you can find out?


End file.
